I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
