Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
