Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
