Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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