love makes seman taste better
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
