I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
