Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
