Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
