remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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