in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
