my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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