so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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