apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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