i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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