He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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