What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
