Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize