But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dick very happy bro
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize