3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
