You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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