these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
