Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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