I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
