how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
