and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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