This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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