is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
