It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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