what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sorry about my life...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
