why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
