We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
