I wannas sexs uuuuu
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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