if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
