Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
