Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
its liver damage thursday
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
