$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
