I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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