Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Drunk is not a location!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
