What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
