thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
