i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize