apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
