I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
