those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
