i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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