I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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