I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
