umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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