dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
