I wannas sexs uuuuu
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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