Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
