I just made out with a guy for $7.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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