Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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