I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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