Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
