Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
