Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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