Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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