no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
