How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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