I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
